Only At Agnes

Sort-of like the 'Simply at Agnes' post, but my version.

Only at Agnes do you temporarily forget the existence of the male gender. All the estrogen here makes us inadvertently forget about the healthy dose of testosterone males provide in our lives.

Only at Agnes do you stare at a guy walking around on campus and try to figure out what he's doing there.

Only at Agnes do you stare at a guy to figure out if he is a natural-born male.

And only at Agnes would you take the time to make sure that statement is politically correct. ^

Only at Agnes does Robert Frost become an attractive male.

Only at Agnes Robert Frost is indeed the only attractive, non-professor male.
And he's a statue

Only at Agnes do they think the hours 5 to 6 are suitable for dinner consumption on weekends.

Only at Agnes is wearing pajama pants to class acceptable and generally expected.

Only at Agnes is it also expected to see half-naked women running around during Bonfire.

Only at Agnes we get considered to be 'Stone-cold sober' only to see "Rum-N-Coke" plastered on the sidewalk.

Only at Agnes does school spirit consist of getting wasted and running around half-naked.

Only at Agnes does an Upperclassman get PO'd when a  first-year refuses to reveal their mascot.

Only at Agnes is there an actual Senior table for seniors. Nobody else cares.

Only at Agnes are squirrels seen as perfectly acceptable companionship.

Only at Agnes do you know each of your professors by name.

Only at Agnes do the professors know you by name.

Only at Agnes do we advocate the process of "putting on a dress to get free food"

Only at Agnes do we criticize Hitler, not for his World Domination Plans, but for his mustache.